Tomorrow, when i would have gone a long way in life,
One day, I may, recall Today.
I would smile at my trials to sound intelligent,
"As if it was so necessary, silly me", I'd say to myself.
I would hate the way I snapped back at people and thought highly about myself
"So shallow, so false", I'll smirk.
I would reminisce about the times i spent dreaming of rose blooms
And inhale deeply trying to smell the magic,
Wishing it to be lingering still, somewhere in the corner of my minds.
I would mull over the chats and the pretty laughs,
The unmindful banter and nonchalant decisions.
I would love my life, still want to rewind,
and sigh at what i left back carelessly.
I would treasure the memories, with their scent and color et al.
And would go back into my shell when I want to relive them.
Thank God... There's time for tomorrow...
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Color
Too often the only thing you see is everything you can't.
I can't decide whether I dread those days or miss them.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Noise all the way !!
Some people think I react unnecessary on small things , some people misunderstood me and some say I "SHOWOFF" too much...
Now what should I do in this matter ..This is the way I am !!!
If only I could describe the awkward state of mind I am in...
Of what is right and wrong for me, I was so sure… I don’t remember quite clearly when I lost my confidence in my decisions... my choices... Of doing something believing THIS is what it should be, albeit, later I might feel I could have done better at that. At least I used to be happy about the fact that at any point of time; I knew what I was doing. And why I was doing it.
Quite unlike what I am today… or should I say what I am in…
Haze. White and pure. Translucent and torturous. I blink at my future, which slyly smiles and dares me act. I wait patiently for the enigma to unfold.
Quagmire. Of unending doubts and confusion. Am too scared to tread the wrong path... too scared of facing dire repercussions. I don’t think I have the mettle to handle that anymore.
Stringed to fate. I pity at myself for my act of submission… to wait for the right time, to wait for the right thing to happen. To wait for anything to happen.
Envious. Of those who know what they are doing; they are all around me, moving on like automatons; with me standing at sidelines, searching for a hint to my life unknown.
Silent. Amidst the clash of rights and wrongs, amidst the din of my own thoughts.
Lost.
Because I don’t know whether the wait is worth it…
Because I don’t know what I am waiting for…
If only...
Now what should I do in this matter ..This is the way I am !!!
If only I could describe the awkward state of mind I am in...
Of what is right and wrong for me, I was so sure… I don’t remember quite clearly when I lost my confidence in my decisions... my choices... Of doing something believing THIS is what it should be, albeit, later I might feel I could have done better at that. At least I used to be happy about the fact that at any point of time; I knew what I was doing. And why I was doing it.
Quite unlike what I am today… or should I say what I am in…
Haze. White and pure. Translucent and torturous. I blink at my future, which slyly smiles and dares me act. I wait patiently for the enigma to unfold.
Quagmire. Of unending doubts and confusion. Am too scared to tread the wrong path... too scared of facing dire repercussions. I don’t think I have the mettle to handle that anymore.
Stringed to fate. I pity at myself for my act of submission… to wait for the right time, to wait for the right thing to happen. To wait for anything to happen.
Envious. Of those who know what they are doing; they are all around me, moving on like automatons; with me standing at sidelines, searching for a hint to my life unknown.
Silent. Amidst the clash of rights and wrongs, amidst the din of my own thoughts.
Lost.
Because I don’t know whether the wait is worth it…
Because I don’t know what I am waiting for…
If only...
Friday, October 1, 2010
Life at another wing !!
A new day with new beginning.The sun is mildly shining after morning's drizzling rain.
Ami is jolted from her sleep as a bus on the nearby road screeches to halt loudly.All of a sudden, the air fills with shrill sounds of a few vehicles honking and their drivers cursing and hollering on top of their voices.
Ami's mother yelled at her. Taking a deep breath she opens her tired eyes. The early morning sky is beautifully blue with a bit of white clouds here and there. From the corner of her eyes she can see brilliant red and yellow streams of light pouring from between a huge pink fluffy cloud. It resembles a candy she saw a man selling on the streets yesterday. She smiles vaguely.
She sits up rubbing her eyes and stretches her hands only to stop midway due to a stinging pain on her right wrist. From where she sits, she looks around and spots her father, Narayan, rummaging a cloth bag for something. Paints may be. Her mother, Sunita, is feeding her younger brothers at a distance. She has tied her hair tightly with a ribbon. They are getting ready for the day, she thinks. And now it is her turn to do the same.
She dusts her frock and walks towards the corner of the street to attend to her morning routine. As she quickly applies red and yellow paints on her face, she glances at what remains of an orange her mother received as alms last evening. Her stomach rumbles loudly but she turns away from it. Whatever little they get after a days effort is first served to her father and brothers. They are the ones who strike themselves with the hunter and do acrobatics for money. She is only skilled to play the drums and to join her brothers when they climb on each other and make a human tower. Her twin brothers Balu and Ramu are just a year and a half younger than her, but help her father make more money than he could have, alone.
Like every morning, Ami and her family step out with hunters, long wooden rods, a cylindrical drum and a smaller handheld twin faced drum that she gets to play. The smaller drum has a string attached to it that has a pebble tied at its end and she has to twist her wrist so that the pebble strikes either side of the drum. Over the years, she has learnt to match the rhythm of the smaller drum with that of the larger one that her mother plays. As her father and brothers hurl the hunter on their backs and do acrobatics in the streets of Suburban Mumbai, she joins her mother to attract attention by beating their drums loudly and begging for alms.
Like every morning, they pass through a local primary school and stop by the peanut seller, where Narayan buys a packet to keep with them through the day. Meanwhile Ami looks around at several kids walking towards the gate on the other side of the road. Some parents tug at their young ones who look displeased and hesitant to go towards it. They are not wearing white shirts and blue pants/ skirts like everyday, Ami notices. What she does not know is that the gate belongs to a school and it is celebrating its founder president’s birthday today. There are a variety of competitions and programs as a part of the same. Students dressed for a fancy dress competition as fairies, rajahs, political leaders, etc. tread towards the gate, some rehearsing their lines which shall soon be recited on the stage.
Amma, why do kids go to this place every morning?
Mmm. They learn their work here.
Like Balu, Ramu and I have learnt these tricks? Do they also learn tricks?
They learn how to deal with their lives, like you learnt from us.
Do they get these nice clothes from there?
No their Appa and Amma get it for them. They have a lot of money. And they also learnt their trade and tricks here.
Ami looks at her mother. She certainly did not go to this place. Otherwise she also would have had lots of money.
Where did you learn the tricks?
I learnt it from my Appa and Amma.
Does this place teach them better tricks?
Yes.
Then why don’t I go to this place, Amma. That way I can earn a lot of money and buy us all good clothes and food.
No, Ami. They take money to teach tricks. Your Appa doesn’t earn that much. So you’ll have to learn your tricks from us and teach your kids as well when you become a mother.
Ami gapes at her.
“Sunita!!!” She hears her father calling for her mother, who adjusts the drum hanging on her shoulder and walks towards him.
Ami innocently scratches her hair and stares wide mouthed at a beautiful costume of a girl standing near the shiny black gate to the school across the road. She’s wearing a bright green skirt with golden brocade work and a matching golden top with a patterned stole. The girl looks back at her. Intimidated, Ami glances at her own dress. She too is in her costume for the day. Red ribbons on her hair and a long pale pink dupatta draped on her to make her look like a little lady. Her arms and feet flaunt brown henna patterns of creepers and leaves, though it seems to have faded a bit. She too looks fancy enough. Not bad.
Ami deliberately takes a deep breath that makes her chest swell, and dons a proud smile. Amused, the girl giggles lightly and Ami’s smile fades seeing that. She makes a face and twists her drum violently. Alarmed, the girl quickly trots into the school, turning around just once to make sure she was safe. Ami breaks into peals of laughter and moves towards her family who have proceeded to start the days work.
What is this place called, Amma?
Its called a school.
“Schu??”
“School”
Her father and brothers start hurling their hunters and Narayan begins playing the drum. Then they slowly walk towards the street with a lot of yellow buildings, where they usually start their day from.
Ami stops midway and looks back at the shiny gates.
School, she repeats and smiles to herself, innocently.
Ami is jolted from her sleep as a bus on the nearby road screeches to halt loudly.All of a sudden, the air fills with shrill sounds of a few vehicles honking and their drivers cursing and hollering on top of their voices.
Ami's mother yelled at her. Taking a deep breath she opens her tired eyes. The early morning sky is beautifully blue with a bit of white clouds here and there. From the corner of her eyes she can see brilliant red and yellow streams of light pouring from between a huge pink fluffy cloud. It resembles a candy she saw a man selling on the streets yesterday. She smiles vaguely.
She sits up rubbing her eyes and stretches her hands only to stop midway due to a stinging pain on her right wrist. From where she sits, she looks around and spots her father, Narayan, rummaging a cloth bag for something. Paints may be. Her mother, Sunita, is feeding her younger brothers at a distance. She has tied her hair tightly with a ribbon. They are getting ready for the day, she thinks. And now it is her turn to do the same.
She dusts her frock and walks towards the corner of the street to attend to her morning routine. As she quickly applies red and yellow paints on her face, she glances at what remains of an orange her mother received as alms last evening. Her stomach rumbles loudly but she turns away from it. Whatever little they get after a days effort is first served to her father and brothers. They are the ones who strike themselves with the hunter and do acrobatics for money. She is only skilled to play the drums and to join her brothers when they climb on each other and make a human tower. Her twin brothers Balu and Ramu are just a year and a half younger than her, but help her father make more money than he could have, alone.
Like every morning, Ami and her family step out with hunters, long wooden rods, a cylindrical drum and a smaller handheld twin faced drum that she gets to play. The smaller drum has a string attached to it that has a pebble tied at its end and she has to twist her wrist so that the pebble strikes either side of the drum. Over the years, she has learnt to match the rhythm of the smaller drum with that of the larger one that her mother plays. As her father and brothers hurl the hunter on their backs and do acrobatics in the streets of Suburban Mumbai, she joins her mother to attract attention by beating their drums loudly and begging for alms.
Like every morning, they pass through a local primary school and stop by the peanut seller, where Narayan buys a packet to keep with them through the day. Meanwhile Ami looks around at several kids walking towards the gate on the other side of the road. Some parents tug at their young ones who look displeased and hesitant to go towards it. They are not wearing white shirts and blue pants/ skirts like everyday, Ami notices. What she does not know is that the gate belongs to a school and it is celebrating its founder president’s birthday today. There are a variety of competitions and programs as a part of the same. Students dressed for a fancy dress competition as fairies, rajahs, political leaders, etc. tread towards the gate, some rehearsing their lines which shall soon be recited on the stage.
Amma, why do kids go to this place every morning?
Mmm. They learn their work here.
Like Balu, Ramu and I have learnt these tricks? Do they also learn tricks?
They learn how to deal with their lives, like you learnt from us.
Do they get these nice clothes from there?
No their Appa and Amma get it for them. They have a lot of money. And they also learnt their trade and tricks here.
Ami looks at her mother. She certainly did not go to this place. Otherwise she also would have had lots of money.
Where did you learn the tricks?
I learnt it from my Appa and Amma.
Does this place teach them better tricks?
Yes.
Then why don’t I go to this place, Amma. That way I can earn a lot of money and buy us all good clothes and food.
No, Ami. They take money to teach tricks. Your Appa doesn’t earn that much. So you’ll have to learn your tricks from us and teach your kids as well when you become a mother.
Ami gapes at her.
“Sunita!!!” She hears her father calling for her mother, who adjusts the drum hanging on her shoulder and walks towards him.
Ami innocently scratches her hair and stares wide mouthed at a beautiful costume of a girl standing near the shiny black gate to the school across the road. She’s wearing a bright green skirt with golden brocade work and a matching golden top with a patterned stole. The girl looks back at her. Intimidated, Ami glances at her own dress. She too is in her costume for the day. Red ribbons on her hair and a long pale pink dupatta draped on her to make her look like a little lady. Her arms and feet flaunt brown henna patterns of creepers and leaves, though it seems to have faded a bit. She too looks fancy enough. Not bad.
Ami deliberately takes a deep breath that makes her chest swell, and dons a proud smile. Amused, the girl giggles lightly and Ami’s smile fades seeing that. She makes a face and twists her drum violently. Alarmed, the girl quickly trots into the school, turning around just once to make sure she was safe. Ami breaks into peals of laughter and moves towards her family who have proceeded to start the days work.
What is this place called, Amma?
Its called a school.
“Schu??”
“School”
Her father and brothers start hurling their hunters and Narayan begins playing the drum. Then they slowly walk towards the street with a lot of yellow buildings, where they usually start their day from.
Ami stops midway and looks back at the shiny gates.
School, she repeats and smiles to herself, innocently.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
I Dont Like..
Here I go with my (inexhaustible?) list of things I don't like.
1. I don't like nerdy bookworms who seem to have an opinion about everything happening around.
2. I have never liked Physics. There is something about it that makes it very interesting to read, but damn difficult to score marks in the examination. Some things just don't happen to some people and Physics doesn't happen to me. Guess I am physic-ally handicapped.
3.I don't like to talk over the phone. Yeah, you heard me right. And when I am not in the right mood, I wouldn't even pick up the phone.Given my job where I am always talking and shouting, more of it seems an arduous job at the end of the day.
4.I don’t like to labor around in the kitchen, unless of course it is to chupke se gulp down all the sweets at night. Yeah I know I am past 24, and take that disgusted look off your face now.
5.I don’t like going out with my cousins:x Among them one is 5’10” and otheri s 6’. God, they make me seem like a Lilliputian.
6.I don't like non-veg foods ..called me completely veggie.I prefer roti to chawal.
By the way, How come most of the people consider prawn as a fish?? :O Come on, use your brains and your school level knowledge of Biology. Prawns are not fish. They are arthropods. Yeah, the group of animals with externally jointed appendages that includes our very own cockroaches, lice, ants, and mosquitoes.:P
7.I don’t like fussing over food. Yeh khaana hai, yeh nahi khaana. I shall eat whatever you give me. Please don’t ask me if I would prefer pineapple ice cream or black currant after dinner. If you can’t decide, I shall have both.
8.I don’t like people who smoke. I hate the stench of nicotine.
9.I don’t like the question, “Are you single?” How does it matter buddy? Are you planning to marry me?
10.I don’t like going to the doctor, even if for a routine checkup or a blood test. Those have been the times I have found myself in my most vulnerable and most helpless self.
11.I don’t like birthdays. It used to be fun when we were kids, being lionized all day at school. Now, it only reminds me that I am approaching my end. I know I sound like a 70 year old, but I have had this strange realization of late that there is so much to do in life, so many things to explore, and so little time.
12.I don’t like those four days of the month. Naah, you got me wrong. I am talking of the Sundays. Somehow they tend to be too dragging for me, with nothing much to do, no friends to meet up online, and usually no friends to go out with (one of the disadvantages of being single). Mom makes it a point to drag me to the kitchen or make me clean my room, and I hate both:(
13.I don’t like broken relationships. They are like shattered pieces of glass. Essentially there are 2 parties involved. And while the victor gets away with his (pyrrhic) victory, the victim is left to glean the shards of glass that prick you mercilessly every now and then.
=================================================================
Okay enough for today .:P
1. I don't like nerdy bookworms who seem to have an opinion about everything happening around.
2. I have never liked Physics. There is something about it that makes it very interesting to read, but damn difficult to score marks in the examination. Some things just don't happen to some people and Physics doesn't happen to me. Guess I am physic-ally handicapped.
3.I don't like to talk over the phone. Yeah, you heard me right. And when I am not in the right mood, I wouldn't even pick up the phone.Given my job where I am always talking and shouting, more of it seems an arduous job at the end of the day.
4.I don’t like to labor around in the kitchen, unless of course it is to chupke se gulp down all the sweets at night. Yeah I know I am past 24, and take that disgusted look off your face now.
5.I don’t like going out with my cousins:x Among them one is 5’10” and otheri s 6’. God, they make me seem like a Lilliputian.
6.I don't like non-veg foods ..called me completely veggie.I prefer roti to chawal.
By the way, How come most of the people consider prawn as a fish?? :O Come on, use your brains and your school level knowledge of Biology. Prawns are not fish. They are arthropods. Yeah, the group of animals with externally jointed appendages that includes our very own cockroaches, lice, ants, and mosquitoes.:P
7.I don’t like fussing over food. Yeh khaana hai, yeh nahi khaana. I shall eat whatever you give me. Please don’t ask me if I would prefer pineapple ice cream or black currant after dinner. If you can’t decide, I shall have both.
8.I don’t like people who smoke. I hate the stench of nicotine.
9.I don’t like the question, “Are you single?” How does it matter buddy? Are you planning to marry me?
10.I don’t like going to the doctor, even if for a routine checkup or a blood test. Those have been the times I have found myself in my most vulnerable and most helpless self.
11.I don’t like birthdays. It used to be fun when we were kids, being lionized all day at school. Now, it only reminds me that I am approaching my end. I know I sound like a 70 year old, but I have had this strange realization of late that there is so much to do in life, so many things to explore, and so little time.
12.I don’t like those four days of the month. Naah, you got me wrong. I am talking of the Sundays. Somehow they tend to be too dragging for me, with nothing much to do, no friends to meet up online, and usually no friends to go out with (one of the disadvantages of being single). Mom makes it a point to drag me to the kitchen or make me clean my room, and I hate both:(
13.I don’t like broken relationships. They are like shattered pieces of glass. Essentially there are 2 parties involved. And while the victor gets away with his (pyrrhic) victory, the victim is left to glean the shards of glass that prick you mercilessly every now and then.
=================================================================
Okay enough for today .:P
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