Do boond umeed ki
Zindagi udhaar ki
Gungunate pal ne dikhaya
Dhoop chaav ka aangan
Pehli baarish aur woh pehli chot
Jaada nahi bas maangte hai
Packet bhar khushiyo ki fauz
Thand si dhoop
Chilchilati sardi
Rahein hai khuli khuli
Aur mausum ne li karwatein
Appraisal ka tension
Workload ka burden
Rishtedaron ka waar
Fursat se bhare
lamhon ka hai ab intezaar
Kuch sacchi si baatein
Kuch random se shabd
Ye maine likhe hain
Main bhi hu stabdh
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Tomorrow, when i would have gone a long way in life,
One day, I may, recall Today.
I would smile at my trials to sound intelligent,
"As if it was so necessary, silly me", I'd say to myself.
I would hate the way I snapped back at people and thought highly about myself
"So shallow, so false", I'll smirk.
I would reminisce about the times i spent dreaming of rose blooms
And inhale deeply trying to smell the magic,
Wishing it to be lingering still, somewhere in the corner of my minds.
I would mull over the chats and the pretty laughs,
The unmindful banter and nonchalant decisions.
I would love my life, still want to rewind,
and sigh at what i left back carelessly.
I would treasure the memories, with their scent and color et al.
And would go back into my shell when I want to relive them.
Thank God... There's time for tomorrow...
Color
Too often the only thing you see is everything you can't.
I can't decide whether I dread those days or miss them.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Noise all the way !!
Some people think I react unnecessary on small things , some people misunderstood me and some say I "SHOWOFF" too much...
Now what should I do in this matter ..This is the way I am !!!
If only I could describe the awkward state of mind I am in...
Of what is right and wrong for me, I was so sure… I don’t remember quite clearly when I lost my confidence in my decisions... my choices... Of doing something believing THIS is what it should be, albeit, later I might feel I could have done better at that. At least I used to be happy about the fact that at any point of time; I knew what I was doing. And why I was doing it.
Quite unlike what I am today… or should I say what I am in…
Haze. White and pure. Translucent and torturous. I blink at my future, which slyly smiles and dares me act. I wait patiently for the enigma to unfold.
Quagmire. Of unending doubts and confusion. Am too scared to tread the wrong path... too scared of facing dire repercussions. I don’t think I have the mettle to handle that anymore.
Stringed to fate. I pity at myself for my act of submission… to wait for the right time, to wait for the right thing to happen. To wait for anything to happen.
Envious. Of those who know what they are doing; they are all around me, moving on like automatons; with me standing at sidelines, searching for a hint to my life unknown.
Silent. Amidst the clash of rights and wrongs, amidst the din of my own thoughts.
Lost.
Because I don’t know whether the wait is worth it…
Because I don’t know what I am waiting for…
If only...
Now what should I do in this matter ..This is the way I am !!!
If only I could describe the awkward state of mind I am in...
Of what is right and wrong for me, I was so sure… I don’t remember quite clearly when I lost my confidence in my decisions... my choices... Of doing something believing THIS is what it should be, albeit, later I might feel I could have done better at that. At least I used to be happy about the fact that at any point of time; I knew what I was doing. And why I was doing it.
Quite unlike what I am today… or should I say what I am in…
Haze. White and pure. Translucent and torturous. I blink at my future, which slyly smiles and dares me act. I wait patiently for the enigma to unfold.
Quagmire. Of unending doubts and confusion. Am too scared to tread the wrong path... too scared of facing dire repercussions. I don’t think I have the mettle to handle that anymore.
Stringed to fate. I pity at myself for my act of submission… to wait for the right time, to wait for the right thing to happen. To wait for anything to happen.
Envious. Of those who know what they are doing; they are all around me, moving on like automatons; with me standing at sidelines, searching for a hint to my life unknown.
Silent. Amidst the clash of rights and wrongs, amidst the din of my own thoughts.
Lost.
Because I don’t know whether the wait is worth it…
Because I don’t know what I am waiting for…
If only...
Friday, October 1, 2010
Life at another wing !!
A new day with new beginning.The sun is mildly shining after morning's drizzling rain.
Ami is jolted from her sleep as a bus on the nearby road screeches to halt loudly.All of a sudden, the air fills with shrill sounds of a few vehicles honking and their drivers cursing and hollering on top of their voices.
Ami's mother yelled at her. Taking a deep breath she opens her tired eyes. The early morning sky is beautifully blue with a bit of white clouds here and there. From the corner of her eyes she can see brilliant red and yellow streams of light pouring from between a huge pink fluffy cloud. It resembles a candy she saw a man selling on the streets yesterday. She smiles vaguely.
She sits up rubbing her eyes and stretches her hands only to stop midway due to a stinging pain on her right wrist. From where she sits, she looks around and spots her father, Narayan, rummaging a cloth bag for something. Paints may be. Her mother, Sunita, is feeding her younger brothers at a distance. She has tied her hair tightly with a ribbon. They are getting ready for the day, she thinks. And now it is her turn to do the same.
She dusts her frock and walks towards the corner of the street to attend to her morning routine. As she quickly applies red and yellow paints on her face, she glances at what remains of an orange her mother received as alms last evening. Her stomach rumbles loudly but she turns away from it. Whatever little they get after a days effort is first served to her father and brothers. They are the ones who strike themselves with the hunter and do acrobatics for money. She is only skilled to play the drums and to join her brothers when they climb on each other and make a human tower. Her twin brothers Balu and Ramu are just a year and a half younger than her, but help her father make more money than he could have, alone.
Like every morning, Ami and her family step out with hunters, long wooden rods, a cylindrical drum and a smaller handheld twin faced drum that she gets to play. The smaller drum has a string attached to it that has a pebble tied at its end and she has to twist her wrist so that the pebble strikes either side of the drum. Over the years, she has learnt to match the rhythm of the smaller drum with that of the larger one that her mother plays. As her father and brothers hurl the hunter on their backs and do acrobatics in the streets of Suburban Mumbai, she joins her mother to attract attention by beating their drums loudly and begging for alms.
Like every morning, they pass through a local primary school and stop by the peanut seller, where Narayan buys a packet to keep with them through the day. Meanwhile Ami looks around at several kids walking towards the gate on the other side of the road. Some parents tug at their young ones who look displeased and hesitant to go towards it. They are not wearing white shirts and blue pants/ skirts like everyday, Ami notices. What she does not know is that the gate belongs to a school and it is celebrating its founder president’s birthday today. There are a variety of competitions and programs as a part of the same. Students dressed for a fancy dress competition as fairies, rajahs, political leaders, etc. tread towards the gate, some rehearsing their lines which shall soon be recited on the stage.
Amma, why do kids go to this place every morning?
Mmm. They learn their work here.
Like Balu, Ramu and I have learnt these tricks? Do they also learn tricks?
They learn how to deal with their lives, like you learnt from us.
Do they get these nice clothes from there?
No their Appa and Amma get it for them. They have a lot of money. And they also learnt their trade and tricks here.
Ami looks at her mother. She certainly did not go to this place. Otherwise she also would have had lots of money.
Where did you learn the tricks?
I learnt it from my Appa and Amma.
Does this place teach them better tricks?
Yes.
Then why don’t I go to this place, Amma. That way I can earn a lot of money and buy us all good clothes and food.
No, Ami. They take money to teach tricks. Your Appa doesn’t earn that much. So you’ll have to learn your tricks from us and teach your kids as well when you become a mother.
Ami gapes at her.
“Sunita!!!” She hears her father calling for her mother, who adjusts the drum hanging on her shoulder and walks towards him.
Ami innocently scratches her hair and stares wide mouthed at a beautiful costume of a girl standing near the shiny black gate to the school across the road. She’s wearing a bright green skirt with golden brocade work and a matching golden top with a patterned stole. The girl looks back at her. Intimidated, Ami glances at her own dress. She too is in her costume for the day. Red ribbons on her hair and a long pale pink dupatta draped on her to make her look like a little lady. Her arms and feet flaunt brown henna patterns of creepers and leaves, though it seems to have faded a bit. She too looks fancy enough. Not bad.
Ami deliberately takes a deep breath that makes her chest swell, and dons a proud smile. Amused, the girl giggles lightly and Ami’s smile fades seeing that. She makes a face and twists her drum violently. Alarmed, the girl quickly trots into the school, turning around just once to make sure she was safe. Ami breaks into peals of laughter and moves towards her family who have proceeded to start the days work.
What is this place called, Amma?
Its called a school.
“Schu??”
“School”
Her father and brothers start hurling their hunters and Narayan begins playing the drum. Then they slowly walk towards the street with a lot of yellow buildings, where they usually start their day from.
Ami stops midway and looks back at the shiny gates.
School, she repeats and smiles to herself, innocently.
Ami is jolted from her sleep as a bus on the nearby road screeches to halt loudly.All of a sudden, the air fills with shrill sounds of a few vehicles honking and their drivers cursing and hollering on top of their voices.
Ami's mother yelled at her. Taking a deep breath she opens her tired eyes. The early morning sky is beautifully blue with a bit of white clouds here and there. From the corner of her eyes she can see brilliant red and yellow streams of light pouring from between a huge pink fluffy cloud. It resembles a candy she saw a man selling on the streets yesterday. She smiles vaguely.
She sits up rubbing her eyes and stretches her hands only to stop midway due to a stinging pain on her right wrist. From where she sits, she looks around and spots her father, Narayan, rummaging a cloth bag for something. Paints may be. Her mother, Sunita, is feeding her younger brothers at a distance. She has tied her hair tightly with a ribbon. They are getting ready for the day, she thinks. And now it is her turn to do the same.
She dusts her frock and walks towards the corner of the street to attend to her morning routine. As she quickly applies red and yellow paints on her face, she glances at what remains of an orange her mother received as alms last evening. Her stomach rumbles loudly but she turns away from it. Whatever little they get after a days effort is first served to her father and brothers. They are the ones who strike themselves with the hunter and do acrobatics for money. She is only skilled to play the drums and to join her brothers when they climb on each other and make a human tower. Her twin brothers Balu and Ramu are just a year and a half younger than her, but help her father make more money than he could have, alone.
Like every morning, Ami and her family step out with hunters, long wooden rods, a cylindrical drum and a smaller handheld twin faced drum that she gets to play. The smaller drum has a string attached to it that has a pebble tied at its end and she has to twist her wrist so that the pebble strikes either side of the drum. Over the years, she has learnt to match the rhythm of the smaller drum with that of the larger one that her mother plays. As her father and brothers hurl the hunter on their backs and do acrobatics in the streets of Suburban Mumbai, she joins her mother to attract attention by beating their drums loudly and begging for alms.
Like every morning, they pass through a local primary school and stop by the peanut seller, where Narayan buys a packet to keep with them through the day. Meanwhile Ami looks around at several kids walking towards the gate on the other side of the road. Some parents tug at their young ones who look displeased and hesitant to go towards it. They are not wearing white shirts and blue pants/ skirts like everyday, Ami notices. What she does not know is that the gate belongs to a school and it is celebrating its founder president’s birthday today. There are a variety of competitions and programs as a part of the same. Students dressed for a fancy dress competition as fairies, rajahs, political leaders, etc. tread towards the gate, some rehearsing their lines which shall soon be recited on the stage.
Amma, why do kids go to this place every morning?
Mmm. They learn their work here.
Like Balu, Ramu and I have learnt these tricks? Do they also learn tricks?
They learn how to deal with their lives, like you learnt from us.
Do they get these nice clothes from there?
No their Appa and Amma get it for them. They have a lot of money. And they also learnt their trade and tricks here.
Ami looks at her mother. She certainly did not go to this place. Otherwise she also would have had lots of money.
Where did you learn the tricks?
I learnt it from my Appa and Amma.
Does this place teach them better tricks?
Yes.
Then why don’t I go to this place, Amma. That way I can earn a lot of money and buy us all good clothes and food.
No, Ami. They take money to teach tricks. Your Appa doesn’t earn that much. So you’ll have to learn your tricks from us and teach your kids as well when you become a mother.
Ami gapes at her.
“Sunita!!!” She hears her father calling for her mother, who adjusts the drum hanging on her shoulder and walks towards him.
Ami innocently scratches her hair and stares wide mouthed at a beautiful costume of a girl standing near the shiny black gate to the school across the road. She’s wearing a bright green skirt with golden brocade work and a matching golden top with a patterned stole. The girl looks back at her. Intimidated, Ami glances at her own dress. She too is in her costume for the day. Red ribbons on her hair and a long pale pink dupatta draped on her to make her look like a little lady. Her arms and feet flaunt brown henna patterns of creepers and leaves, though it seems to have faded a bit. She too looks fancy enough. Not bad.
Ami deliberately takes a deep breath that makes her chest swell, and dons a proud smile. Amused, the girl giggles lightly and Ami’s smile fades seeing that. She makes a face and twists her drum violently. Alarmed, the girl quickly trots into the school, turning around just once to make sure she was safe. Ami breaks into peals of laughter and moves towards her family who have proceeded to start the days work.
What is this place called, Amma?
Its called a school.
“Schu??”
“School”
Her father and brothers start hurling their hunters and Narayan begins playing the drum. Then they slowly walk towards the street with a lot of yellow buildings, where they usually start their day from.
Ami stops midway and looks back at the shiny gates.
School, she repeats and smiles to herself, innocently.
Monday, September 13, 2010
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